Yet another walking the razor’s edge tension place in our lives.    We are commandment to love others as Christ loved us and yet not fear man or be dominated by the need for the approval of other people.

We have a whole topic devoted to one anothering so truly this is just barely catching a glimpse of the tip of the ice berg.   A word study of the phrase one anothering could easily and gainfully occupy several years of time.  I am going to hone in on one or two points only that are often overlooked or little practiced.

What does loving others as Christ loved us look like.   It must purely reflect the love that Jesus shows for us.    This is radically different than the actions and words that we often associate with the word love.

John 13:34 New American Standard Bible (NASB)
“34 A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another, even as I have loved you, that you also love one another.”

The Word LOVE represents so many different things to so many different people.   Let’s try to get some idea of what biblical love looks like and does, specifically how Jesus loves others as we are commanded to love them in the same way as He does.  So without ever losing sight of the verses we most readily associate with biblical love, let’s jump in.

1 Corinthians 13:4-8a New International Reader’s Version (NIRV)
“4 Love is patient. Love is kind. It does not want what belongs to others. It does not brag. It is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor other people. It does not look out for its own interests. It does not easily become angry. It does not keep track of other people’s wrongs. 6 Love is not happy with evil. But it is full of joy when the truth is spoken. 7 It always protects. It always trusts. It always hopes. It never gives up. 8 Love never fails…”

1st We love others by begin mindful of what tempts them or hurts their conscience.

1 Corinthians 10 NASB “28 But if anyone says to you, “This is meat sacrificed to idols,” do not eat it, for the sake of the one who informed you, and for conscience’ sake; 29 I mean not your own conscience, but the other man’s; for why is my freedom judged by another’s conscience? 30 If I partake with thankfulness, why am I slandered concerning that for which I give thanks? 31 Whether, then, you eat or drink or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God. 32 Give no offense either to Jews or to Greeks or to the church of God; 33 just as I also please all men in all things, not seeking my own profit but the profit of the many, so that they may be saved.”

We are not our own.  We are not only accountable to God for what our conscience says on a matter but also the conscience of others.   This puts the responsibility on each of us to be tenderhearted and compassionate to how others perceive our actions.

Romans 14:13-20 English Standard Version (ESV) “13 Therefore let us not pass judgment on one another any longer, but rather decide never to put a stumbling block or hindrance in the way of a brother. 14 I know and am persuaded in the Lord Jesus that nothing is unclean in itself, but it is unclean for anyone who thinks it unclean. 15 For if your brother is grieved by what you eat, you are no longer walking in love. By what you eat, do not destroy the one for whom Christ died. 16 So do not let what you regard as good be spoken of as evil. 17 For the kingdom of God is not a matter of eating and drinking but of righteousness and peace and joy in the Holy Spirit. 18 Whoever thus serves Christ is acceptable to God and approved by men. 19 So then let us pursue what makes for peace and for mutual upbuilding.   20 Do not, for the sake of food, destroy the work of God. Everything is indeed clean, but it is wrong for anyone to make another stumble by what he eats.”

Practical applications:   

1. Our outward appearance is one of  the easiest and most commonly thing that we judged on.   As a new believer, I watched the women, especially those on the stage and those in leadership and followed their cues.     I was thankful and of course stunned when girlfriend approached me and asked me to reconsider my attire.    She let me know that men, especially those of shorter stature, might be tempted by my choice of clothing and that perhaps something more conservative would be helpful to them.  I had been in the world 30 years and dressed accordingly.  Had this brave sister not spoken up, I would have continued to dress inappropriately.  I now try to err on the side of conservative now especially when meeting with new people.   I want to glorify God in all that I do.  What I wear, what I eat, how I speak, what kind of car I drive etc.   I have heart it too  many times to not take note.   Many will follow the example and still others will judge harshly based on these things.   I often hear that people will not listen to certain teachers of the Bible simply because of the types of suits they wear, homes they own, cars they drive etc..   

Therefore, we should take care that we are mindful of the consciences of others in  whatever parts of our lives that are lived out publicly or that we share with others.  I will admit that I went through a “legalistic/zealously religious stage” where my own conscience was truly grieved by what I saw others do.  During that time, it was far more common for me to be told that I needed to relax my standards and that I should “live and let live” instead of being encouraged by other believers to continue to honour my conscience.   I have come to a more peacefilled season now where it is far easier not to take offense and simply to recognize that each one is walking out what they know to the best of their ability.  

Here are some things that God has convicted me on.   I do not share to suggest that you ought to do likewise, only to give some idea of some things I have bumped into.   

1.  As I mentioned, the clothes we wear as a family,
2. the decorations and outward appearance of our home inside and out, basically every space in our home that others may be exposed to.  Nothing in our home decor is sacred.    If something gives  somebody the wrong vibes, I purge the item.   This one can be tricky as we can be very sentimental over certain things or feel strongly obligated to keep them as they may be gifts from those we love.    We have been so bold as to let people know the types of things that we will not allow into our homes.  Our personal convictions are to keep no graven images or any item for that matter that were made to worship other gods in our home, we try to avoid all books, videos etc where magic is used by the good guys, and aim to avoid things that are ostentatious and extravagant.   We have received gifts over the years that we either simply declined (where the relationship permitted) or quietly disposed of afterwards where relationship did not.   It pains me to do so but it would pain me more to know that the object potentially offends God and if not God, then others who come into my home. 
3. the foods I eat, especially in public (we have several friends who follow the Old Testament food regulations and abstain from pork and shell fish etc.  At the moment they are more casual friends but if we were to fellowship with them intimately, I would likely purge our home completely in an effort to honour their consciences). 
4.  I do not drink alcohol as a general rule as I have two friends who are recovering alcoholics.    
5. The music we listen to and sing as well as the types of movies and entertainments we will participate in
6. Before reading this next point, please commit to reading the second part of this post, otherwise, there may be a temptation to judge my thoughts and actions, which I have based directly on scripture.    While there is no person that I believe is beyond God’s love, I do believe that there is a time based on scripture that we are not to fellowship with someone who is actively and unrepentently living in a sinful way.   I do make it perfectly clear in those situations that the separation pains me and that I long for our fellowship to be restored but that my own conscience does not permit me to fellowship while they are openly and actively participating in what the Word clearly forbids.   I am always hopeful and prayerful that they will turn and that our fellowship will be restored.  I am not judging them but also cannot be accomplice.    This brings me to the 2nd point.

A note to make about all of this…  What you do in private should of course reflect integrity and should glorify God to the uttermost.  There are verses about this too.   

2nd Correcting one Another/ Confronting One another for Sins is an Expression of Love

I must stress that there is a loving way to confront another and a very judgemental and harsh and unloving way to do so.    Perhaps something to tackle in another post.  Today I just hope to introduce this biblical reality and encourage you to dig more deeply.

Revelation 3:19-20 King James Version (KJV)
“19 As many as I love, I rebuke and chasten: be zealous therefore, and repent.  20 Behold, I stand at the door, and knock: if any man hear my voice, and open the door, I will come in to him, and will sup with him, and he with me.”

1 Peter 4:7-9 English Standard Version (ESV)
7 The end of all things is at hand; therefore be self-controlled and sober-minded for the sake of your prayers. 8 Above all, keep loving one another earnestly, since love covers a multitude of sins. 9 Show hospitality to one another without grumbling.

It may surprise us what it means to cover a multitude of sins.   New Testament wise it means to lovingly confront one who calls themselves a christian and exhort them to rightenousness.  And yes, there is certainly a time to overlook a trespass and forgive abundantly but all of these things work together and must be considered in light of the full counsel of God.   In my last post I highlighted the need to wash one another feet.   I do feel like the central part of discipling others is to be a sign post that always directs and points back to Jesus and the Word, and to impart and teach all that we know of the Word, in a spirit of love and gentleness.   The washing by the Word should be in other words are absolute go to.  I model this in our group meeting times.   I make it clear from day one that I will not correct or confront a sin issue I see in another person unless they invite me to do so.  However, for those who walk with me in intimate fellowship, they know that I will strongly exhort them to godliness and will confront sins that I see.    I personally have chosen to submit to all my brothers and sisters and Christ and welcome and encourage each one to correct me /bless me by taking the time and making the effort to help me see my blind spots as I have come to embrace these corrections as a helpful and necessary part of my growth.    It is my “yes Lord, wash my feet and any other part of me that has become soiled by my time in this world” as my hearts desire is to have no impurity or blemish separating me from my God.     Scripture says that teachers will be held to a higher standard, and I have come to recognize that these adjustments are necessary with the call that I have on my life.   There are times that we need to confront sin and enforce consequences when repentance does not follow instruction.   I personally believe this is essential for true fellowship, unity and growth within the christian community.  If we tip too far towards mercy and too far away from righteouness and become too tolerant, the yeast of the few quickly leavens the whole body.  If we tip too far towards justice and enforcing righteousness, especially outside of an intimate and strongly developped relationship of trust and love, we drive all away from the one who longs to wash them and adorn them as His spotless bride.

James 5:19-20 King James Version (KJV) 19 Brethren, if any of you do err from the truth, and one convert him;  20 Let him know, that he which converteth the sinner from the error of his way shall save a soul from death, and shall hide a multitude of sins.

Matthew 18:15-20 English Standard Version (ESV)15 “If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have gained your brother. 16 But if he does not listen, take one or two others along with you, that every charge may be established by the evidence of two or three witnesses. 17 If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church. And if he refuses to listen even to the church, let him be to you as a Gentile and a tax collector. 18 Truly, I say to you, whatever you bind on earth shall be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth shall be loosed[a] in heaven. 19 Again I say to you, if two of you agree on earth about anything they ask, it will be done for them by my Father in heaven. 20 For where two or three are gathered in my name, there am I among them.”

And yes, sadly this does mean that scripture calls us for times of separation from those who call themselves christians but refused to live in submission to God and His Word.   Many have never heard the Word and are simply living in ignorance of what it says.  I am not suggesting that we climb up on a high horse and start casting stones everywhere at all.     But these scriptures must be considered, we must prayerfully and lovingly take action to encourage all to godliness, and once all the other criteria have been met and they have truly come to a place of having had a chance to hear the truth and consider it accordingly, we do need to follow through on what scriptures tells us to do.  2 Timothy tells us how to approach those who are sinning.   

Please do take note that those in this position are opposing themselves, they are snared by the devil and are taken captive by him at his will.   They are not free, they are imprisoned and being used as a slave to darkness.  Their actions are not their own, but they are puppets responding to whatever strings the puppetmaster pulls.   They are often blind and deaf so no amount of begging, nagging, counselling, conversation, shouting, frustration, reacion on our parts will set them free from their bondage.  In fact, our ungodly responses could be deemed as casting stones at one who is imprisoned and incapable of fleeing.  Paul’s instruction to Timothy are worth noting as He is instructing him specificallly on how to help set the captives free.   It is not any more within our capacity to set them free then the Lord’s.   We can reveal to them the way of escape but at the end of the day the verses say that “they must recover themselves our of the snare” and must willfully choose to leave.  Our main prayers then shift not to “change them Lord” but “Oh merciful Father, help them to see and hear and perceive the way the prison they are in and the way out”.

2 Timothy 2:24-26 King James Version (KJV)
“24 And the servant of the Lord must not strive; but be gentle unto all men, apt to teach, patient,25 In meekness instructing those that oppose themselves; if God peradventure will give them repentance to the acknowledging of the truth;  26 And that they may recover themselves out of the snare of the devil, who are taken captive by him at his will.”

Do be so vigilant and aware that the strongman(men) holding them captive would like nothing more than to take you captive too.   Jesus instructs us to turn the other cheek and repay evil for good.   These are an essential part of the armour we must live in and put on daily to be effective warfare we are called to.    To respond in kind/react accordingly or as the behaviour warrants lands us right in the cell with them.   Whenever we stoop to that level, we ourselves have now been snared.  This is why it is so essential to not give place to the devil or let others have control over our actions.   

Galatians 6 NIV  “¹Brothers and sisters, if someone is caught in a sin, you who live by the Spirit should restore that person gently. But watch yourselves, or you also may be tempted. ² Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ. ³ If anyone thinks they are something when they are not, they deceive themselves. ⁴ Each one should test their own actions. Then they can take pride in themselves alone, without comparing themselves to someone else, ⁵ for each one should carry their own load. ⁶ Nevertheless, the one who receives instruction in the word should share all good things with their instructor. ⁷ Do not be deceived: God cannot be mocked. A man reaps what he sows. ⁸ Whoever sows to please their flesh, from the flesh will reap destruction; whoever sows to please the Spirit, from the Spirit will reap eternal life. ⁹ Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up. ¹⁰ Therefore, as we have opportunity, let us do good to all people, especially to those who belong to the family of believers.”

Psalm 69:32-33 English Standard Version Anglicised (ESVUK)
“32 When the humble see it they will be glad; you who seek God, let your hearts revive.  33 For the Lord hears the needy and does not despise his own people who are prisoners.”

God never despises his people, He is forever listening for their cry and yearning for their freedom.     

The desire is never ever to judge or write off or condemn.   It is love that looks down the road and sees where that path leads and cries out “NO, Dear sister, Dear Brother, NO, that path ends in sorrow, pain curses and death, NO!!!”   This takes us right back to Deuteronomy.    As we love others, we join our voices with that of our Heavenly Father who beseeches us each to choose “Life and life more abundantly” so that we and our children shall live.      It is to see each one fully redeemed and restored and walking in the abundant blessings, peace and joy of the truth and beauty of God’s Kingdom.

1 Corinthians 5:1-12 English Standard Version (ESV)
5 It is actually reported that there is sexual immorality among you, and of a kind that is not tolerated even among pagans, for a man has his father’s wife. 2 And you are arrogant! Ought you not rather to mourn? Let him who has done this be removed from among you.  3 For though absent in body, I am present in spirit; and as if present, I have already pronounced judgment on the one who did such a thing. 4 When you are assembled in the name of the Lord Jesus and my spirit is present, with the power of our Lord Jesus, 5 you are to deliver this man to Satan for the destruction of the flesh, so that his spirit may be saved in the day of the Lord.[a]  6 Your boasting is not good. Do you not know that a little leaven leavens the whole lump? 7 Cleanse out the old leaven that you may be a new lump, as you really are unleavened. For Christ, our Passover lamb, has been sacrificed. 8 Let us therefore celebrate the festival, not with the old leaven, the leaven of malice and evil, but with the unleavened bread of sincerity and truth.  9 I wrote to you in my letter not to associate with sexually immoral people— 10 not at all meaning the sexually immoral of this world, or the greedy and swindlers, or idolaters, since then you would need to go out of the world. 11 But now I am writing to you not to associate with anyone who bears the name of brother if he is guilty of sexual immorality or greed, or is an idolater, reviler, drunkard, or swindler—not even to eat with such a one. 12 For what have I to do with judging outsiders? Is it not those inside the church[b] whom you are to judge?”

John 3:16-20 English Standard Version (ESV)
16 “For God so loved the world,[a] that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life. 17 For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but in order that the world might be saved through him. 18 Whoever believes in him is not condemned, but whoever does not believe is condemned already, because he has not believed in the name of the only Son of God. 19 And this is the judgment: the light has come into the world, and people loved the darkness rather than the light because their works were evil. 20 For everyone who does wicked things hates the light and does not come to the light, lest his works should be exposed.”

Deuteronomy 30:17-19 English Standard Version (ESV)
“17 But if your heart turns away, and you will not hear, but are drawn away to worship other gods and serve them, 18 I declare to you today, that you shall surely perish. You shall not live long in the land that you are going over the Jordan to enter and possess. 19 I call heaven and earth to witness against you today, that I have set before you life and death, blessing and curse. Therefore choose life, that you and your offspring may live,..”