I am going to share some hard gained revelation right now and at the end I will share the circumstance that brought about these revelations.
First. God is always faithful, even when we are not faithful… (I can’t come up with the right verse for this but this one certainly is appropriate and encouraging) 1 Corinthians 10:13 Even in the very worst circumstances He has moderated things to a level we can manage.
2nd. The enemy comes to steal, destroy and kill and Yeshua (Jesus) came to give life more abundantly. John 10:10
the revelation for me.. which may seem really obvious to someone else but this just hit home at a new level.
The point of sin is not sin.. the point of sin is to bring about death (mental, spiritual (hell and physical death, which includes sickness, infirmity, flus, disease etc), destruction of anykind (marriage breakdown, relationship breakdown, property damage, abuse etc), and to steal (any god given birthright and blessing, these include your joy, your children, your hope, your faith, your health, your job, your life etc). For some reason, we can constantly acknowledge our sinfulness… or if you prefer, that even as saints, we seem to constantly fall into unintentional sinful behaviors, actions etc.. And we kind of think that that is all there is to it. Sin is on assignment… the fruit of sin, the product, the consequence, the goal etc… will always be one of these three things, loss (the result of when the enemy successfully steals from us), death (either sudden or slow and painful as in sickness, infirmity etc), or destruction. How we have separated these things in our mind as independent from one another.. is quite a mystery as the Word of God so clearly links them. As long as sin is in our live and the world, we will see these three things abounding.. they will only vanish once sin is gone. Praise God that they cannot touch us when we have dealt with the sin in our lives (Psalm 91 so completely summarizes the complete and total protection of God over the lives or the obedient and godly ones)
Is it possible that we have missed that sin is not the goal, the end, the purpose but the method of accomplishing these three things?
The summary:
The battle: life vs death, blessings vs curses
Deuteronomy 30:19
“Today I have given you the choice between life and death, between blessings and curses. Now I call on heaven and earth to witness the choice you make. Oh, that you would choose life, so that you and your descendants might live!
The bad/evil side:
The enemy and sin
His Goal: to steal, to destroy, to kill, to fill your life with curses and death
His method: sin
The Good side:
God (The Father the Son the Holy Spirit)
God’s plan for our lives: Life more abundantly, health, unity, harmony, love, joy, peace and lavish blessings and provision for our every need
God’s methods: Brotherly love for all, obedience, awe of the Lord, humility, dependence on God, the support and constant helpof the Holy Spirit
We suffered from a terrible loss and test this weekend. We lost our 10 week old baby (in utero).. the enemy stole what God blessed us with. Not only that, I hemoraged badly for several hours and lost a fair bit of blood. A very long night, hours in emergency and prayer later the trial ended. And yes, we did have open doors (active undealt with sin in our lives). I have personally repented for bad blood (bitterness) that I was holding against my own best efforts against my hubby and have also repented for accusing (which came along on the coattails of that bitterness once fear and self-entitlement were joined into the mix). God’s will did not happen…. Not because we are a horrible bad couple, not because our sin is extra black, but because we tolerated what was intolerable…
The words I specifically heard in my head was “Accusation is like venom” and “we must purge the bad blood”.
God’s hand and faithfulness. There is too much to remember or record but here are some highlights… My thoughts were a battlefield but there were constant interventions from the Holy Spirit, steering me and strengthening me. Not once in the the whole time we were going through this did I feel abandanoned or condemmed or unloved. 3 days before this happened I was reminded of the verse that said to meditate on God’s love in the morning and His faithfulness at night. We started listening to these two songs, 2-3 times a day.
These were the words that were echoing constantly through my head throughout this trial. Oh do listen and hear the marvelous words… How deep the Father’s love for us…. how blessed beyond all measure… to make a wretch His treasure…
Seeing things through a godly perspective. There was no possible win in this for the enemy. If the baby was miscarried, the tribulations on our precious child would be brief and the end purely good. Today I know that my baby is securely in the hands of God, a better Father/mother than we could ever be… No harm will touch my child, no evil will hurt him/her. My child is in the best possible place. My marriage is touched for the good of the Lord, this is drawing us into unity, into desperate dependence on God, into hatred and intolerance of sin, into greater appreciation for our two miracles, our boys.
Every child is a blessing. We have three children, 2 here with us, one in heaven. All three are a source of joy and blessing. We will count every second, minute, hour, week that we have the joy and privilege of having them in our lives as pure blessing. I was blessed to hold a child of God in my womb for 8-9 weeks. Each moment I will cherish… and I have a joyful reunion to anticipate (originally we had counted on the normal nine months, this will be a longer now but still a very short time to physically separated in light of eternity). As David knew, the child couldn’t come back but someday he would go to the child, i know that I will see this child and have an eternity to enjoy, embrace, love this child. The war against this child is done and the enemy lost. I rejoice in my child’s security and place with the Father.
Grounded in gratitude… I have no explanation other than that my heart has been filled with gratitude through every moment of this. All things are brighter, every miracle more astonishing, every child more wondrous, every giggle, snuggle, smile, tear of my children more precious…
The sign… Ok, this ones just makes me weep. Our 4 year old was crying and asking why God couldn’t just send our baby back from heaven.. because the sadness of not seeing the baby was hurting him so much. So we prayed with him that God would send us a new baby when we are ready, a healthy, strong baby. We looked out the window and saw a beautiful rainbow.. I know this means nothing to you but rainbows have been a theme in my life… in my worst trials, there has always been a rainbow in the sky.. and somehow this understanding that this was a sign from God to me that all was going to be well. i know and have known through all of this that all will be well. A dear friend wrote those words to me in an email when I had sent her the prayer request that we were spotting. “All is well”
Today I am sad, still a little weak from blood loss, still crying a lot, still hurting from the loss of being able to love, and nurture, and nurse and hold and cuddle and watch my third child grow, I am rejoicing, peaceful, grateful at a whole new level, in awe of the Lord, blessed by His faithful love and provision, appreciative of my husband who stood by me and supported me wonderfully throughout all of this in spite of his own misery and suffering (he was hit worse than me by the loss), my heart is full of praises for God and wonder, hope and anticipation of more children and ever increasing understanding of the the Lord and His ways. We are motivated going forward to address those areas that we both felt conviction about, to love one another better, to take better care of the temple of God (our bodies), to slow down and re-evaluate priorities that prevented us from taking up the proper watch over this child, and so on and so forth.. We will see the good things that comes out of this and experience the full redemption of this trial. What was meant for evil will bring only good. Praise God.
Healing and Discipleship 
What a beautiful testimony… thanks for sharing your heart, Lisa. Praying for you today.
Bonnie